So You Wanna Play Padel?

A No-Nonsense, Slightly Sweary Beginner’s Guide for the Curious, the Clueless, and the Chronically Uncoordinated

Written from the heart. With sweat. And probably a dodgy elbow.

WHAT THE PADEL IS THIS?!

Welcome to the glorious, slightly bonkers world of padel – not paddle, not pickleball, not a typo – PADEL. Think of it as tennis’s cooler, younger, less up-itself cousin who went backpacking around Spain, came back with a tan, and now insists on having fun over form.

If tennis is a job interview, padel is bottomless brunch.
Less rules. Less running. More banter. More bounce.

It’s played in a glass box (like squash and Love Island had a baby), with four people total – two a side. You serve underarm (because we’re civilised), you use solid bats (no strings attached – literally), and the ball is basically a low-key tennis ball with less sass.

The Basics, Babe:

  • Court: It’s smaller than tennis. Feels less intimidating. Also makes it harder to run away from your mistakes.

  • Racquet: Like a ping pong paddle and a designer handbag had a baby. Small, firm, and weirdly satisfying.

  • Serve: Underarm only ; no Serena slams here. Just a polite bounce and pop.

  • Walls: Yep, the ball can bounce off the back and side walls like it’s doing a dramatic comeback tour. Use them or be used by them.

  • Scoring: Same as tennis - love, 15, 30, 40 - which nobody understands but everyone pretends to.

Why You’ll Love It (Even If You Hate Exercise):

  • It’s social ; you need 4 people, which means chats, giggles, and maybe post-match Aperols.

  • It’s forgiving –;you don’t have to be “sporty” (whatever that means). You just have to be up for it.

  • It’s addictive ; trust us, once you’ve wall-smashed a point by total fluke, you’ll be hooked.

  • It’s less about power, more about strategy ; which is great if your knees are over 40 and your energy is somewhere under the sofa.

 HOW TO FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT

1. Wear the part, play the part
You don’t need fancy kit. Just wear what makes you feel slightly smug in the mirror. Bonus points for sunglasses, skorts, and any item that says “I do yoga but also know how to party.”

2. Learn some lingo (or just make it up)

  • "Vamos!" -  Spanish for “let’s go” (yell it even if you just tripped).

  • “Mine!” - Say this loudly to claim balls and assert your fake confidence.

  • “That was in, right?” - Ask this while smiling sweetly. Works 90% of the time.

3. Find your people
You need three others. One will be hyper-competitive. One will be confused about the rules. One will definitely bring snacks. Pick wisely and rotate often.

4. Embrace the chaos
The ball might bounce off the back wall, your bat, then your head, then win the point. That’s padel, baby.

5. Don’t overthink it
You will miss shots. You will hit your partner. You might pee a little from laughing. That’s the point. It’s joy in motion.

Final Thoughts from the Court:

I came to padel burnt out, knackered, and totally over the gym. What I found was something so much better ; movement that doesn’t feel like punishment, community without the cringe, and the most fun I’ve had in Lycra since 2003.

So book a court. Drag three mates. Laugh loudly. Miss wildly. And know that every time you show up, you’re doing something wonderful for your body, your brain, and your whole damn soul.

See you out there,
Georgie x